The mailbag: part 3


So I’ve just got home from a presentation that the Head of Google for Australia and New Zealand gave.  It was quite impressive, although the whole evening was basically one big marketing sales pitch for Google products – should I have expected anything else? 

After the presentation, there were a series of questions from the floor.  They were all pretty standard – i.e. way too keen young business people that were far keener to make an impression on the speaker than they were concerned about getting an answer to their question.

However, it then got me thinking about why I never ask questions at these events, and then it got me thinking about why nobody ever asks really good questions anywhere.  That in turn, led me to think about all the questions I’ve got recently about my website, and how most of them have gone unanswered.

Well, no longer shall they remain unanswered!  I hereby announce mailbag number three for dylanmalloch.com.  As always, these are questions from actual readers (yes, apparently I have some).

Change is good, and you having changed for the better is great. Congrats on doing such a virtuous thing with your own time and money. Nice to know there are people in the world more willing and able to help the needy than me.
– Tadryn, NSW

I think you’re more able to help the needy than you give yourself credit for.  As for the willingness aspect, well, I’m not so sure.  But it’s really not that hard or that much of an imposition on one’s life to do a quick, two week development trip.  If there’s one thing I want people to consider after reading my Cambodian thoughts, it’s that anyone can do humanitarian work in foreign countries.  All you have to do is stand up and go.

All I have to say is the Megan Fox would win an Oscar if there was an Oscar for the Hottest Chick on Screen!
– James, NSW

I can’t put up much of an argument to that statement, Jimbo.  However, did anyone else see the article that came out the other day?  I must say, I’m hardly surprised.  When watching Megan Fox act, you can’t help but go through a multitude of feelings.  Firstly, you are completely bewildered by how jaw-droppingly hot she is.  Secondly, you’re a little bit fascinated by the fact that she’s much better looking on-screen than she is in real life.  I put this down to the fact that on-screen she has no tattoos whilst in real life, she’s covered in them.  The lesson as always girls?  Don’t get tattoos.

Thirdly, she can’t act.  I mean she REALLY can’t act.  It’s almost painful to watch, and even her aforementioned jaw-dropping attractiveness can’t make up for it.  So, I’m now in a massive dilemma.  I love Transformers one and two, but it’s painful watching any scene that involves Megan Fox – except for the one... well... you know.

Anyway, I don’t know what the future holds for Ms Fox, but I hope that she’s not in many other films that I go and see.

I think it has to be pointed out that this race was made for Mark Webber.  He was able to record his usual DNF, only this time he got rewarded with points because no one else finished either.
– Steve, ACT

Great call!  This was in response to a running diary I wrote on the 2009 Malaysian Formula One Grand Prix that was abandoned halfway through the race due to heavy rain.  Well, I completely agree, and it’s interesting that Webber’s season has gone full circle.  The first race of the year saw him finish last.  Dead last.  Then he gradually got better and better until the universe’s very foundations nearly collapsed when he won the German Grand Prix.  Since that fateful day though, the universe has been trying to get even, and at last it has.  In both Valencia and Belgium Webber finished 9th (a glorious reminder of his Williams days) and then most recently at Monza, he crashed out on lap one.

Oh the humanity!

Yep, Webber’s career is again on the slide.  Can he make it back to the top?  I really REALLY hope so.  But once again, I might not hold my breath – the old reverse jinx is officially in play!

I enjoyed reading your website.  You sound like a lovely young man.
– Andrew, ACT

Er... thanks... I think?

I liked your article on Australian Media being useless.  Thanks.
– Garry, Northern Territory

Er... you’re welcome... I think?

But you’re right, they are completely useless.  Although, since a massive part of my job is ‘media relations’ I might quietly let this answer finish here.

I agree that space should be an uplifting thing. In fact with your article you are not only preaching to the choir, you are serving it up to the choir master! (Said with a Samuel Jackson accent/voice!)  But I believe I have two valid reasons why people are apathetic when it comes to space exploration and here they are:
1) People perhaps more than ever before are completely selfish and absorbed with their own lives. Technology has provided many opportunities for human kind, like landing on the moon. But it has also provided us with more and more ways to be ridiculously selfish, to focus on ourselves and nothing or no one else.

2) We know a lot more about space now that we did in 69. And I think that most people are convinced that there is no other life in the universe other than our own, so why explore space? If no one is out there it would be the equivalent of looking for a hot girl in a nursing home...it just won't happen, so it is pretty hard to get excited about it! I mean think of the sci-fi movies of which you speak...there is always some kind of life that humans are interacting with or discovering...
– James, NSW

Great question, and great points!  Maybe you should start a website of your own?

I take your points, and I think, to a certain extent, you are right.  One of the main appeals of space exploration comes from that question “are we alone in the universe?”  Of course as Christian, the obvious answer to that question is: no.  There’s God. 

But for those who don’t believe in God, the drawcard of life from another planet is a fundamental element to the pursuit of space exploration.  However, I think that space’s most appealing aspect is the one that George Mallory quoted all the way back in 1924 when people asked him why he wanted to climb Mount Everest.  His answer: “Because it’s there”.

Space is the most abundant area in the universe.  It expands for light millennia.  Imagine living on the moon!  Imagine taking a weekend trip to Mars!  Who wouldn't want to visit the Watchtower? One day, these things could become a reality.  And the pursuit of these ideals should be exciting.  But that brings me to your first point, which is spot on.  Everyone is selfish.  And that’s why it’s the forgotten frontier.

I think Dylan Malloch should go into politics so then his humour, fabulous writing and political savoir-faire can best be utilised for the greater good of the Australian population.
– Angela, ACT

For the record, that was not paid advertising!  I can only assume that Angela was on some sort of drug when she wrote those words – but thank you!  Much appreciated.

I should say, a lot of people have asked me in both recent and not-so-recent times if I’d go into politics.  My answer has always been the same – I’ll go into politics, but not as a politician.

You read that correctly.  As one friend of mine once said to me, “You don’t want to be ‘the man’.  You want to be the person ‘the man’ depends on.”  And that’s true!  I want to be someone’s Chief of Staff.  I want to be a politician’s strategist.  I want to be someone who helps get someone far brainier and charismatic than me to the top.

So!  If you are brainier and more charismatic than me and fancy running for office, then email me.  I will listen to your offer :-)

Well, that’s all I have time for/can be bothered writing.  Stay tuned for another update in the next week... at least, I hope it’ll be within the next week.  Also, if you find anything I say slightly humorous or of any interest whatsoever, feel free to follow me on Twitter – www.twitter.com/dylanmalloch

Click here to email Dylan about the above column.

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Karim Temsamani
Karim Temsamania gave an interesting
presentation on "why you should buy Google".

Megan Fox
Megan Fox may be hot, but she is
a truly horrific actress
Who wouldn't want to hang out with Superman
and Wonder Woman in the Watchtower?
I'd rather be Josh Lyman
than Jed Bartlett